The Sound of Silence: My journey with Ménière's Disease

I want to start by acknowledging that I am aware that there are bigger problems in the world and my problems are nothing in comparison. But I have been trivialising this for far too long and I don't want to do that anymore because it's not nothing.

I was 15 when I started having unexplained migraines [often accompanied by tinnitus (back then, I didn't know it was called that) and vertigo]. I tried all sorts of home remedies, nothing seemed to work. A doctor in Chennai (a legit doctor in a reputed hospital) attributed my pain to "kids these days not being able to handle minor inconveniences" and told me i should do some journaling :/ 

My parents took me to visit an ENT specialist in Vijayawada who diagnosed me with mild hearing loss. We used to live in Chennai back then and were visiting relatives in Vijayawada. This is important, we'll come back to this in the next paragraph.

Then we went to see a neurosurgeon (don't ask why). He looked at the ENT's diagnosis and then looked at me and asked "When you're going back to your place from here, your train will cross Krishna Barrage, right?" I nodded. Then with a smug look on his face, he said, "Take these reports and throw them in the river from the train." My parents were relieved, I guess, that their kid hasn't lost her hearing. The neurologist gave some medications for migraine, which to be fair do work. I still take the same meds for migraines. But no one seemed bothered about the tinnitus and vertigo, except me of course.

Later, we moved to Bhuj. Over the years, I learned to manage my migraines. But the tinnitus kept getting worse. We went to another ENT in Bhuj. This doctor finnally called it what it is and for the first time I knew that there was a name for the ringing in my ears. I still had no idea how to deal with it.

Then we went to see a another ENT. This time the doctor diagnosed my condition as Ménière's Disease and I finally had an explaination for my symptoms. The doctor confirmed the mild hearing loss and said it's likely that it gets worse over the years and we can deal with it when we get there. I got meds to manage tinnitus and vertigo. Based on whatever I understand from the research behind these meds, I must say, I'm not convinced that they work and I personally do not find the meds as helpful as I'd like them to be.

Anyway, like I said in my last blog, you will very often see me holding the back of ears with my fingers or trying to press my shoulder into my neck. Well, that's the only way to get the ringing in my ears to stop temporarily.

Imagine sitting in an exam hall. I'm told it's supposed to be filled with silence. I can only imagine that silence.

It's been 11 years now and I have not experienced a moment of silence, quite literally.